at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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