and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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