My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize