You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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