Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
