So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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