bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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