Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
