I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
