The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
