Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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