I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
