ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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