If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
