UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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