Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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