no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
