just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
