And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
