Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There r osticjed everywhere
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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