im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
