You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
