How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
