What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
