I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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