New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
