watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
