And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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