I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
