she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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