Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
