I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
