i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
