I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
