We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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