I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
