In America we eat man semen.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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