Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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