i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
