What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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