After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
