So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
