she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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