The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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