weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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