just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
