You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I lost the right to judge tonight
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
