Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
