I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
