apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
