we're chasing vodka with high fives
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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