I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The adults are the big ones right?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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