Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This girl is more easily done than said...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize