i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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