We're facebook friends in real life
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
